Shake your head over these blow-out photos, jokes, stories and news items.
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Pasta Jar Used as Homemade Sex Aid
This is something I wouldn’t have thought of to use as a sex aid, but a man caught in a no-go zone at Queensland’s Nobby Beach, thought otherwise,as reported on News.com.au :
A man caught by police with his penis submerged in a pasta sauce jar was still pleasuring himself while resisting arrest.
He took off when police tried to question him and even continued his pasta sauce dipping as police tried to wrestle the jar from him. This story is just too sick! The guy ended up with a $600 fine and his name spashed all over the internet. What a loser.
It reminds me of the story I was told about a dill pickle that sat in the jar in the fridge for a long time, and when a flat-mate went to eat it, the woman was hysterical, telling him no, you don’t know where that’s been!
Rogue Wallabies Harrass Retirement Home Residents
Who would have thought that the lovable little Australian Wallaby could cause so much mayhem?
According to reports in Townsville today, wild wallabies are terrorising a retirement village, knocking over residents and defecating on lawns and patios.
Residents at Carlyle Gardens are said to be too afraid to leave their homes when the 100-strong mob runs amok in the early mornings and late afternoons.
The wallabies are crashing into cars, scooters and even elderly residents. Large male wallabies, over a metre tall and weighing up to 30kg, are fighting, falling against the side of homes and damaging walls.
I certainly wouldn’t like to be bowled over by one.
Are You a Good Christian?
Drug-Smuggling Pigeon Behind Bars
Bosnian police have impounded a pigeon after discovering prisoners used it to smuggle drugs into one of the country’s highest security jails. Desperation is the key to genius, so it’s not surprising that someone behind bars came up with this ingenious idea. During WW1, homing pigeons were used in espionage and had cameras strapped to their bodies. The Bavarian Pigeon Corp took aerial photos of surrounding districts.
The pigeon had been taken into custody by police, who have launched an investigation aimed at identifying those who had loaded it up with the drugs. The incident had prompted the prison administration to consider closing down a prisoner pigeon-breeding project established in a ward of the jail as part of a rehabilitation program.
At least a dozen police and emergency services workers were called to the park in Hong Kong after 41-year-old Le Xing’s penis became trapped in a hole, apparently after he became aroused.
Didn’t he know that steel park benches are not flexible? This is one of those times where the head stops thinking and the other head takes over.
What's On the Menu?
Beijing has asked hotels and restaurants in the city to take dog meat off the menu for the duration of next month’s Olympics and September’s Paralympics, but some things you can look forward to are scorpions on a stick, on offer along with silkworms and seahorses.
Man Armed with Light Bulb Robs Store
Police are searching for a man who robbed a Brisbane service station armed with a fluorescent light bulb.
The offender, who's been described as chubby, walked into the Shell service station at Breakfast Creek in Brisbane's north about 4.45am (AEST) today and demanded money, police said.
He used the fluorescent light tube to threaten a female worker, before fleeing the scene on foot with a sum of cash. He must have grabbed the nearest potential weapon and a light bulb was all he could come up with. I think if it was me, I probably would have laughed in his face.
I Want a MakeOver Too
Roberta Williams, ex-wife of notorious Melbourne serial killer Carl Williams, is in the news again. This time she’s doing a photo-shoot for Zoo Magazine and at 37, and 4 kids later, thinks she looks good. Some of her previous photos are not so flattering. If I could get a make-over as good as Williams I’d be in Zoo too.
Roberta Williams speaks to her husband’s friend, Renata Laureano, outside the Supreme Court on April 28.
Pictured outside her former home in Essendon in March.
Stripped for a men’s magazine / Picture: Zoo Weekly
Armpit Sniffer Jailed
Oh my God! I've heard everything now...
A Singaporean man with an armpit-sniffing fetish has been sentenced to 14 years in prison and 18 strokes of the cane.
Mohammed Ismail Ariffin, 36, was convicted of molesting 23 females ranging in age from nine to their 50s, The Straits Times reported today.
Community Court Judge James Leong imposed preventive detention, a jail term for prisoners with no chance of parole.
The court was earlier told Mohammed Ismail stalked his victims and followed them into lifts, staircase landings or their homes. In some cases, he restrained them.
He was also was guilty of fondling a 13-year-old and exposing himself to a 53-year- old cleaner, the court was told.
Following a report from a housewife that a man had smelled her armpit on January 3, police took a semen swab at the scene which led them to Mohammed Ismail.
Thong Bandits
Colorado police say two suspected robbers dubbed the "thong bandits", after they used women's underwear to disguise themselves, have been caught.
The two men used skimpy underwear as masks, but much of their faces remained visible in a CCTV tape broadcast across the US state.
Nineteen-year-old Joaquin Rico and his 24-year-old alleged accomplice, Joseph R Espinoza, both turned themselves in.
Police in Arvada say the men stole cash and cigarettes from a shop in May.
The two were unarmed but reportedly hit a shop assistant and injured her.
One man wore a green thong and the other wore blue. The garments barely covered the men's features, leaving most of their faces exposed. They stuffed stolen items into a pink rucksack.
Road Rage Victim Hit with Hammer 20 Times
Be careful next time you overtake somebody on the highway. One poor bloke was dragged from his car after being rammed from behind three times and had his eye socket shattered. He copped around 20 blows to the head from a hammer-wielding bipolar sufferer who didn't take his medication.
The attacker was charged with dangerous operation of a motor vehicle, wilful damage, acts with intention to maim and armed assault.
And all because he didn't take his pills? Please...
Guinness World Record holder for the ‘Most Pierced Woman’, Elaine Davidson, poses in Edinburgh, Scotland showing some of her 5,920 piercings on May 16, 2008. Imagine having to count them all...
Chinese Army Obsessed With Good Posture
I'm planning on using some of the techniques the Paramilitary police in Chine use so I stop slouching over my computer. If the cards or crosses don't work, I'll bet the needles in the collar trick soon have me sitting up straight.
Paramilitary police maintain correct posture with crosses on their backs during a training session at a military base in Shenyang, China, May 6, 2008. REUTERS/ Stringer
Paramilitary police at training session in Beijing April 10, 2008. Playing cards ensure that the police maintain good posture. REUTERS/Joe Chan
Needles ensure correct posture during training at base in Shenyang, China, May 6, 2008. REUTERS/ Stringer
Nimbin MardiGrass 2008
The annual Nimbin MardiGrass was held on 3rd and 4th May 2008, with lots of police presence. This year the festival focused on the Cannabis Law Reform Rally.
Police are searching for a man who robbed a Brisbane service station armed with a fluorescent light bulb.
Roberta Williams, ex-wife of notorious Melbourne serial killer Carl Williams, is in the news again. This time she’s doing a photo-shoot for Zoo Magazine and at 37, and 4 kids later, thinks she looks good. Some of her previous photos are not so flattering. If I could get a make-over as good as Williams I’d be in Zoo too.
Be careful next time you overtake somebody on the highway. One poor bloke was dragged from his car after being rammed from behind three times and had his eye socket shattered. He copped around 20 blows to the head from a hammer-wielding bipolar sufferer who didn't take his medication. 
